Ae s humans, we were built to give and receive love, but somehow, as we grow older, this becomes increasingly difficult to achieve. But the barriers are within us. The principle from which we start in our work refers to the fact that

a child does not come “broken” into the family; at birth it has everything it needs to succeed and enjoy this wonderful life, like a seed: if it is planted in good soil, it blossoms, if not, it somehow survives, but it is not what was made to be, it is not reaching its potential. In the case of humans, it is the parents who provide the “soil” for the child. In this sense, our center, RoSST Education, promotes the personal development of children and parents/adults which results in the satisfactory fulfillment of our basic emotional needs, that is, it helps us to be happier.

We believe that we are made to give and receive love and to live a satisfied and fulfilled life on this Earth but somehow, as we grow up it seems to be harder to achieve it. The truth is that the real barriers are inside of us. The principle that our work is based on refers to the fact that a child doesn’t come “damaged” in a family; at birth he has inside of him everything he needs in order to succeed and to fulfill his destiny, like a seed: if planted in a good soil, it blossoms, if not, it survives somehow but it is not what it was created to be and it doesn’t reach its potential. As humans, the parents are those who provide the “the soil” for the child. In order to help you to provide for you and your family a healthy environment, our center, RoSST Education offers a series of activities which promotes personal development in children and parents/adults.

Sometimes it is hard to admit, but the truth remains: we learn through imitation; this means that we cannot be otherwise than similar to our parents. For sure that we are not 100% like them, but we are on the same pattern of the personality traits that we will pass on to our children. How many times did you say “I will never do that to my children!” and you find yourself doing exactly like that even if it is not what you have wanted. Or you say “I know what I have to do but when the moment comes, I cannot apply anything”. This is because we learn from the model not from the words of those who raised us even if sometimes what we saw being modeled was wrong and hurting for us.

In my discussions with parents, usually after they become more aware of themselves in relationship with the child, they tell me “I know I should not behave like that but I just can’t help it”, “I cannot control myself!” Did you ever feel like you cannot stop the thoughts that come into your mind, that you want to silence them or don’t overreact in a certain situation? When you feel like that it means that an unhealthy pattern (cognitive schema) is triggered in you and you can see it live how it works: what kind of feelings, thoughts, body sensations and behaviors are part of it. These vulnerabilities are not always active; something must happen in order for them to be triggered. For example, the child says or does something that awakes in you an emotion which is similar to unhealed painful feelings from your own childhood. As humans we do something when we have intense emotions to regulate them so you will say and behave in a specific way toward the child based on what you feel inside of you and not based on the child’s need at that moment.

For example, let’s say that your child is drawing but he is not pleased with his work; you see that, feel sorry for him and you intervene by drawing for him because you felt alone and neglected in your childhood and you don’t want him to feel like that or because one of your parents used to do things instead of letting you do them and now this is the first reaction that comes into your mind, „the road most travelled” in your brain. But in that situation the child’s need are:

-to try to do on his own, the best he can draw right now is enough and to learn to enjoy the act of drawing and not the performance

-to learn to ask for help, to be aware of his need and to express it because other people do not have the task to guess what’s on your mind.

In order for you to be able to meet your child’s needs you have to pay attention on the child’s perspective and not on your emotions, so it has to be less noise in your head. As long as we are not aware of the unhealthy patterns that were formed in childhood, the way that they influenced our life, how they manifest in daily interaction with each other and we are not involved in a process of personal development and healing we cannot make healthy choices that satisfy our emotional needs. The result is reflected in our level of peace, joy, satisfaction and happiness that we feel in this life!